Pee Wee's Woke Playhouse

I probably shouldn’t even bother sharing this but I figured, what the fuck? Captive audience and all, why not? I had a dream recently that I was an “entertainment consultant” for Pee Wee Herman (don’t ask) and I was giving him advice on how to stay relevant in the current “woke” era we live in.

One of my ideas was for him to release a new talking Pee Wee doll (you know the kind with the string in the back that you pull?) and it would include new woke sayings, which could be updated via blue tooth!

For example, you pull on the string and Pee Wee says, “Black lives matter! HAHA!” in his signature obnoxious voice and laugh at the end. Another would be, “Thank you for using my pronouns, I really appreciate it,” but in his calm and nasally sarcastic tone. Or “You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. I’m woke.” Or “I know they are, but what are they?” I figured he could also have a “safe space” on his Playhouse and the word of the day could words like “latinX” and triggered.” And instead of “connect the dots” he could sing “connect the genders.” The possibilities are endless…and awful.

Remember when Pee Wee did a PSA for crack cocaine? I do. He could do a similar PSA but for the Covid jabs. It would be equally ridiculous. I find it hilarious that he did a scene in Nice Dreams with coke all over his nose and then he ended up doing the PSA for crack.

In all seriousness, Paul Rubens is a brilliant comedian/visionary. I’ve enjoyed his work during my lifetime, most notably as “Pee Wee” but also as bizarre side characters in Cheech and Chong films. His show, Pee Wee’s Playhouse, had some of the most creative content/characters/writing/music and production ever produced on television. Sadly, we will never see that kind of creativity out of Hollywood again.

Also, sadly, I was not kidding about the dream. That happened. :/ But for what it’s worth, I had fun imagining Pee Wee’s Woke Playhouse, mostly because I could hear him saying those things in my head. Although, I think his success largely came from him floating outside of reality at all times, not in it - that’s what makes the crack commercial so funny…and weird.

  • S/C

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