On Indigenous identity in the Chicano community
“Here’s the thing: In the absence of a specific tribal connection, the de-tribalized Indian activist will find their indigenous identity almost completely inside their leftist politics. Instead of going to powwows, they go to protests. Instead of going to stick games, they go to organizing meetings. Instead of hanging around the campfire, they hang around Twitter.”
- Sherman Alexie, from his essay “The "I" in BIPOC: Not All Native Americans are Leftist Political Activists”
I found the above quote profound because there is truth in it for many in the Chicano community. I know this because I consider myself, at least partially, a de-tribalized NDN. I’ve never seen that definition before but it hits home.
Yet, as a Chicano, and one who embraces his own indigenous ancestry despite it being a giant question mark in terms of absolutes, that is only a part of my identity.
As Alexie points out in his essay, Chicanos, like Natives, are diverse and hold a wide array of political and cultural beliefs. We are not a monolith and never will be.
But let me unpack that a bit.
First, a disclaimer. Writing about topics like this is always polarizing and will often draw ire and contempt. I’m okay with that to a point but first let me put forth this disclaimer in the form of a poem I’ve been sitting on.
Sometimes I think what makes me unique as a writer is my experience as a Chicano in 21st century Amerikkka And sometimes I think what holds me back as a writer is my experience as a Chicano in 21st century Amerikkka I often need to remind myself that my experience is my own I have never professed to speak for anyone but myself My experience as a Chicano is mine alone I am reminded of that every single time I try and measure those experiences and expectations with others More often than not, I find that I am alone.
Growing up I never considered myself indigenous.
I also never considered myself white.
I did not grow up on a reservation. I also did not grow up speaking Spanish. Conversely, I did not grow up in retreats of white suburbia either. Literally, I was raised on the wrong side of the tracks, in poverty, and with a sense of “otherness” bestowed upon me by society at large from day one.
For a short time as a young boy I simply existed without much of a racial identity. That did not last long as the world wasted no time in assuring me that I was an “other” in a predominantly white society.
These are things you learn early on as a so-called person of color in the US.
For another period of time I was simply Mexican and then later on, Mexican-American once I discovered that Mexicans did not consider me to be such.
I then became Hispanic for a little while and then Latino.
It wasn’t until a socio-political awakening that I became Chicano. And then later, Xicano. And this is where Alexie’s point about identity being tied to politics comes in.
For many of us that is true.
But no matter what happens, or who tries to define me, I always fall back on Ruben Salazar’s definition of Chicano:
“A Chicano is a Mexican-American with a non-Anglo image of himself.”
That definition holds true for myself today and will suffice for the rest of my life. But as I said in my poem, my experience is my own.
I didn’t start considering the possibility of having an indigenous ancestry until adulthood and not until I started meeting other Chicanos and digging into our hidden history.
I remember my father saying to me that he could not grow a beard and was not hairy because he had more Indian blood. As a child, this did not make sense to me and I wondered if we were part Native American. It never occurred to me that being indigenous could mean other things, especially for Mexicans.
Americans are not taught Mexican history nor Mexican-American history and learning about Chicano history is taboo by most Anglo standards.
Thus, our history is hidden from us. I would argue that most young Latinos in the US are ignorant of their indigenous ancestry.
It wasn’t until I started encountering other Chicanos who considered themselves indigenous that I realized that it was even a possibility.
Was I really indigenous..? Some tribal Indians will balk at this but it opened up a whole new universe for me.
Therein is where definitions who creates them really matter and truth be told, our indigenous identity and ancestry is wholly different than what is perceived and taught about Indians in America.
One of my favorite quotes about the Chicano experience comes from the film Selena where the dad, played by Edward James Olmos, quips that we have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans.
I have amended this quote over the years to add that we have to also be more indigenous than the indigenous and of course, more Chicano than the Chicanos.
If it’s one thing I’ve learned in my years as a self-awakened Chicano, it’s that the litmus tests for these things never end. It’s, as EJO says, exhausting.
Personally, I have long since given up trying to pass anyone’s exams. As I said, my experience is my own and I know who I am.
But we live in an age where the youth have rejected the lessons we learned and they are wandering, aimlessly, without much of an identity…which is an identity in of itself. As Alexie says, much of this comes through social media.
Because the system is rigged against us to discover our history and to have an identity, and because I disagree with what the system says about me on various government documents and questionnaires, when the question of race comes up, and because there is no racial category for “Mexican,” I do not check the box that says “white.”
I am not and have never been white.
Despite this fork in the road, I will always check the Native American box, full stop.
I am fully aware of the issues that checking that box brings. And this is where the ire and contempt come in. How dare you…I can hear in the background.
Yet, I refuse to let anyone else define me.
Why? Because I have North/South American indigenous ancestry in my blood - recognizing that is part of what makes me Xicano.
Claiming it also means that there is indeed an absence of a “specific tribal connection” - that’s true - I don’t have one, nor do most of us.
But that doesn’t mean it makes us any less indigenous. We have to carve out our own identity since the beginning - la lucha sigue.
It just means that our history is hidden from us and that many of us grow up not even considering the possibility, despite the fact that it’s true. And thus, when we assert our identity and history, we are met with resistance.
This is what it means to be Xicano to me.
Some of us grow up being taught to reject the Spanish ancestry in our history. Others are taught to only accept that part. Universally, we are taught to reject the Indian and so many of us do. And depending on who you talk to, embracing either will get you mocked or rejected. There is no “winning.”
Being Chicano is complicated and anyone who claims otherwise is ignorant of just how complicated it really is.
All of this is why, as a child, I knew who I was before anyone dared to try and tell me.
I innately knew that I was not white. I also knew I was not an Indian, at least not the American interpretation of one. And I instinctively knew that I was not solely a Mexican either.
I was something else entirely.
I still am and I have always felt that way in my heart.
Many will disagree with this.
It is in that ‘something else’ that I have found my identity, lonely as it may be at times. It is also challenging to try and explain to others who are often looking to stack people into neat little boxes and check marks. For this reason, I do not relate to Hispanics and Latinos because most of them lack that acknowledgment and i have long since given up trying to explain/justify my existence to anglos and others with anglo beliefs.
I am Xicano.
I know what that means to me and for me, that’s enough. No one can tell me otherwise.
It means I am indigenous.
It means I am all of these things and none of them at the same time.
It means I am cosmic.
It means I will endure.
S/C