Cinco de Sucko

Or a rant on why I have grown to HATE this "holiday"

Ugh. This day again. This has been brewing for days and I was talking with my homeboy this morning about why this so-called “holiday” is stupid and why I dread it every year now. He told me, “I’ve really grown to HATE this holiday!” and I could not agree more! In fact, I cannot think of another “cultural holiday” where tons of people act ridiculous and parade around like idiots to virtue signal that they consumed a particular kind of food or beverage, all for brownie points and yet know absolutely NOTHING about the culture or the holiday in question! And don’t even get me started on the “true meaning of Christmas” bullshit when it comes to the Cinko. Today is nothing more than a marketing opportunity, period and yet we’re stuck on the sidelines watching people make pigs of themselves and get wasted all for the memory of the battle of puebla?? Huh?

Every goddamn year I think about weird-ass, old man Eddie Olmos’ portrayal of Selena Quincinera’s dad in the film “Selena,” where he shakes his fist at the sky and rants about how exhausting it is being Chicano. Because it is! Sure, sure, he says “Mexican-American” but we all know what the fuck he meant. It’s not like Hollyweird was gonna use the “C” word - Chicano is taboo, member? But yes, Cinko de Sucko is exhausting.

I relate to all of that shit! Any-fuckin-ways…oh how do I loathe this holiday, allow me to count the güeys!